Myth or Mom Truth?

Posted by LACEY KRAMER on

I'm ready to take the slack for writing this.  I can hear it now... 'Your children should be your every moment.' 'Once you have a child, nothing is about you anymore.' 'Your children are the sun and you the earth.' 

I call utter BS!

For one, I 100% believe that you cannot pour from an empty cup.  If you are so concerned with having your kid(s) involved in an activity every waking minute of the day, when do YOU have a moment to breathe?  Did you eat today? I'm not talking the crumbs or left overs from your kids plate.  Did you sit down and chew, breathe, have a peaceful moment, that you were enjoying the food that you needed to nourish your body?  Food can do so many wonderful things beyond satisfying hunger.  Make yourself a sandwich and take a minute.  Day Dream.  

Two, who were you before you became a mother?  Why does that lady have to be someone else since becoming a mom?  Does having a child mean that all you can be or should be is a mom?  Yes, we change everyday.  I am not the woman I was 10 years ago, raising one child and still running a kitchen 12 hours a day.  I am not the same woman I was 5 years ago, raising 2 kids and starting my own business.  I'm not the same person I was a year ago or even last week.  But I do look in the mirror and see more than just a mom.  I have a culinary degree, have worked in fine dining establishments and local 'mom and pop' joints.  I am a divorcee and a married woman.  I managed in restaurants and hotels, then took a leap of faith and started my own business.  I am licensed to drive a school bus, carry a hand gun, and save your life with CPR.  Look in the mirror and tell me... who are you?

Three, my children need things.  We all do.  Basic life necessities... food, water, shelter, clothes.  If I cannot step back from being just a mom for a minute, who will provide these things?  We are not a household that can survive on one income.  If you are, I am so happy for you.  Truly I am.  But working mom vs stay at home mom... We are all where we need to be.  I support you in either role.  Though if you are a work from home mom, we need to have a drink on my porch and laugh away the stress of literally being both! 

I love my kids to the moon and back.  I would give my last breath for them to have one more.  BUT, that does not mean they own every piece of me.  If I spend all of my time shuffling them to all these extra curricular activities, then come home and make sure their afternoons are filled with projects and parties and goop making activities, how will they find out who they are?  They do not need instant satisfaction and/or gratification for completing a task.  They don't need a participation ribbon for everything they do.  Please, save me $10 off my registration fee and keep the damn medal that will be in a drawer the day after they get it.  We have to let our kids figure out how to survive without us... because one day they will have to. 

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